Woman-friendly Porn.

*I'd like to get a movie for my husband and me, but I'd like to
get one that would be fun for me to watch, too- one that isn't
misogynist and all that. You probably already answered it in your blog,
and I tried to go back through your archives, but I couldn't find your
recommendations.

I'm sure I've answered this question before, too, but I couldn't find it, either. At least, not right away. But this question, and the question above it, finally motivated me to get off my butt and create an FAQ page. The thought of hunting down all my frequently asked questions and compiling them all at once was too overwhelming for me, so I'm just starting with the two above. The next time somebody asks for an anal sex tutorial, or a good lesbian title, or how I can live with myself, I'll add them to the new blog. Soon I'll just be able to point and link, and the e-mailbag will disappear. Until then:

I try to carry only DVDs that appeal to women. To the best of my knowledge, none of the DVDs are blatantly woman-hating, if you are in the camp that believes it's possible to have non-woman-hating porn. (On a personal level, although I sell it, I believe the non-porn camp has a valid point that should be listened to). Some of the videos I enjoy the most come from Digital Playground. We all by now know that I love Loaded,
where Jesse Jane plays a woman investigating the murder of her boyfriend and there's a disproportionate number of sex scenes where women are wearing nothing but sneakers, which I think is sort of odd. Why not bare feet? Why sneakers? But still, I love it, and Jesse Jane is one of the less wooden, more talented performers out there, and some of the laughs are intentional, and the music isn't totally awful.

If you want straight porn that makes an effort to be feminist (as opposed to Digital Playground's "woman-friendly" philosophy), with no implants, no starving women, more body acceptance, and female leads controlling the action, then yes, I'm going to recommend Urban Friction again, starring a real life girlfriend/boyfriend and shot right here in Chicago. (The feedback I've been receiving is that most straight men prefer the Digital Playground stuff to Urban Friction, so keep that in mind if you're specifically getting it to watch with your husband/boyfriend.)

Which lube is the lube for me?

*What kind(s) of lube would you
recommend for, say, a gay 20-something guy who, along with his
boyfriend, has been sorely disappointed with the performance of
Astroglide?

I myself love Astroglide. The World's Greatest Gynecologist, Dr. Pamela Goodwin, recommends Astroglide, as do many ob/gynies as having a makeup very similar to a woman's natural lubrication, although it is admittedly a bit stickier.

But what does this have to do with a gay 20-something guy and his boyfriend? Not a damned thing. I just felt like sticking up for the poor, slighted Astroglide. But now that I've gotten that out of the way, may I recommend Liquid Silk?


It feels more like lotion than lube, but not as greasy, and it doesn't dry sticky or tacky at all. I do not find it to be all that delicious, however. In fact, the best I could say in that regard is that if you ingest it, you probably won't die or swell up or break out in hives or anything. If you're looking for a lube for handjobs or anal that isn't sticky, give the Liquid Silk a try. However, if it's blowjobs you want, and of course you do, try the
Sensua Organics Aloe-based lubes (I'm partial to the Peach flavor) or stick with the Wet. The Sensua line does not stay slippery as long as the glycerin lubes do, but the good news for blowjob givers (and receivers, yes, because getting oral is almost always a plus regardless of the lube) is that the slippery is reactivated with a little bit of water or saliva. In fact, the makers of the Sensua line once sent me this cute little spray bottle that you can fill with water for re-activating the Sensua lube on your dainty bits if it dries up. This seems to be a bit too fussy for me. Who would keep this by their beds? It brings up disturbing imagery involving Felix Unger. I ended up using the bottle to keep the kittens off the counter.