What kind of material makes the best vibrator? Silicone? Jelly? What?

I'm glad you asked, imaginary questioner!

Throw away your jelly vibrator and spring for one made out of silicone. The cute little pixie at your local sex toy store was telling you the truth - silicone really is a better material for sex toys. Jellies, while very soft and flexible, are also very porous. Very, very porous. The pores in the material easily trap bacteria that can be difficult to remove. Don’t you ever, ever share a jelly vibrator, and if you’re doing it now, please stop. Or at the very least, put a condom on it. Silicone is virtually pore-free, making it very easy to sanitize. And dildos made from 100% silicone can be put in the top rack of your dishwasher, assuming you live in the kind of household where you won’t have any ’splaining to do. You can also sterilize silicone toys. Toys don’t have to be sterilized prior to insertion into the Magic Kingdom, your underpants aren’t sterile, after all, and they’re pressed up against your dainty bits all day. (tampons aren’t sterile either. I know. It’s true, though.) But if you’re polyamorous or just like to be on the safe side, silicone rules. Best, many silicone toys are made in the U.S.A., and you can buy comfortably knowing the products are made with non-exploitative labor. And silicone doesn’t have phthalates, the plastic that makes jellies, and shower curtains, and lots of stuff you haven’t thought about but evidently it’s so ubiquitous we’re peeing out phthalates because we’ve been breathing the shit in. Enjoy that new car smell, kids!

We don’t know what longterm damage phthalates do, if any, and we’ll never see a law passed regulating the kinds of materials sex toys can be made of - hell, you can make a dildo out of Froot Loops and batshit, and the government won’t care. Why? Because sex toys aren’t supposed to be used as sex toys, just like condoms aren’t supposed to be used as condoms, because sex toys are “novelties” only. Just for a tee-hee at Spencer’s Gifts, is all. If you have the inclination and the social consciousness and the curiosity, the information is out there. But for the overwhelming majority, they won’t even bother to investigate, because there’s no political future in encouraging sexual awareness and education, so the information has no consistent advocate. Therefore, most people just don’t think it’s important.